Tuesday, 8 January 2013

The People Who Believe The Victims of Sandy Hook Were Actors

I don’t know if any of you guys reading have ever been part of a nationwide conspiracy that includes staging shootings in multiple states, spoon-feeding the story to the media, and using a ton of Black Ops and bribes to cover it all up each time an investigator puts two and two together.

I imagine it gets expensive, though.

At least that seems to be the logic behind one of the latest conspiracies to spring up in the wake of the recent tragedy I was discussing in my last post; these guys are claiming that many of the families, news reporters, victims and in some cases even the perpetrator are all actors hired by the government to play roles in staged tragedies and massacres. Apparently the major conspiracy that controls the entirety of the USA is trying to keep costs down by re-using these actors in different places.

The lovely folks have Snopes have traced the origins of this theory to Wellaware1, a site that, amongst other things, has claimed that both Hitler and Walt Disney were characters portrayed by the son of US President Theodore Roosevelt. And that Jack White was the real perpretrator of the Aurora shootings, amongst others. So clearly they know what they’re talking about.

Others have taken this nuttyness and run with it since then, however; this video uses a photo of the Two and a Half Men actor Angus T Jones from when he was around eleven years old (he’s nineteen now, by the by) to claim that he portrayed one of the victims of the tragedy just a few weeks ago. Oh, and apparently Fox News, CNN and many other news sources are all under the control of Obama as part of a conspiracy to destroy the Second Amendment and take away the guns.

Obama’s even more cunning than we thought; he’s using Fox News’ frequent and excessive criticism of him as a smokescreen for the fact that they secretly do his bidding, the diabolical bastard.

I know I’m not really giving this thing a fair trial but honestly, what else am I supposed to do? The people spreading this particularly noxious brand of shit aren’t just paranoid as hell, they’re insulting the real people who were affected by this tragedy, insulting the memories of the real victims. It’s deplorable.

Seriously, if such a widespread, quasi-omniscient conspiracy existed you’d think they could afford to hire more actors.


  1. What's wrong with these idiots not imagining the government brainwashed the actual shooter, and the killings were real? Isn't there an Occam's Razor for conspiracies? Or does it always go the other way?

    Occam's Rogaine?

    1. Ockham's Rogaine?

      That is epic. I'm totally stealing that.

  2. Why dont you look at the facts as I present them with regards to this staged HOAX? Are you afraid? I challenge you to debunk my information http://wellaware1. com/fairfield. htm

  3. And by the way the information you have at the beginning of you story is NOT from my site so get it right.

    1. Sweet. Never actually had someone respond to one of these before.

      Like I said in the post, I was linked to your site via Snopes (http://www.snopes.com/politics/guns/newtown.asp#actors), so if there's a fault in the information then you may want to take your objections there. Which part are your referring to, though?

  4. Wow. Just wow.

    Here's some hilarious incontrovertible "proof" from their site (http://www.wellaware1.com/fairfield.htm) About 4-5 screens down is a screen shot from a TV report with the caption "Conn. Elementary School Shooting..."

    These retards claim "As the abbreviation of the state of Connecticut is CT. Or are we just looking at old footage that was created before they changed it from CONN to CT?"

    If you look at the history of US Postal abbreviations here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_U.S._state_abbreviations, you can see that CT became the official abbreviation in... wait for it... 1963.

    Nice sleuthing, Sherlock.

  5. Is this conspiracy built on the inability to imagine someone getting their hands on a gun and doing this?

    Can you really not imagine this happening?

    As in my earlier post, the government conspiracy, if it was one, would go infinitely better if you just brainwashed one person to be the shooter, and either let them take the fall, or whisk them away, then cover THAT up.

    Instead, you've got whole families and a whole community of fake people involved in each shooting situation? THAT you can imagine happening?

  6. Unfortunately this stuff is winning some acceptance among the sludge that builds up at the bottom of the gene pool. Here's a discussion board thread where they congregate.

  7. You know, we used to say, 'round here, when some Fundie shouted about how damned we were, "Pack me in marshmallows and graham crackers!" But with the weapons grade stupid being pumped now, I think "Bring the bleach for the gene pool" would make a better watch-word.

    I tell you, I begin to wonder if burning stupid has a chance at being a "great attractor" and pulling in asteroids...


  8. Holy crap! Daniel Day-Lewis looks almost just like Abraham Lincoln! The whole assassination was a fake! Oh.. wait...

    Taking advantage of the fact that a lot of people look like a lot of other people (My goodness, you'd think we were the same species or something), and then just getting it wrong in many of those examples (this particular conspiracy theorist must have some sort of defect or damage to his fusiform gyrus, a key brain area used in facial recognition, to think that half those actors have more than a passing resemblance to the victims of that shooting.)

    And of course, the mysterious Sheriff Vance, who is actually Lieutenant Vance because there is no Sheriff's department in CT which makes him right, but only because he's using the Media's confusion over the titles as proof for his theory. And he looks nothing at all like John Goodman, that just made me laugh my ass off! This conspiracy theorist is not only brain damaged, but he's dishonest to boot.

    The really sad part of this whole conspiracy is that ten minutes on google completely unravels every claim that can't be dismissed at first glance. But of course something is always "fishy" so down the rabbit hole they go.

  9. Helluva way to boost the economy, man....all that hiring of unknown actors and actresses. I mean, gee, I guess they couldn't afford the likes of Daniel Day-Lewis...

    I wish to gods I could willingly render myself unconscious sometimes when I read this kind of lunacy.

  10. Conspiracy theories know no bounds because insanity doesn't either.