Tuesday, 8 May 2012

How Magic Is Real And I Am A Wizard

So having borne witness to this gem (seriously, go read it first; it's a textbook case of flawless religious apologist theorising) in Norman Geisler and Frank Turek's book, ‘I Don’t Have Enough Faith to be an Atheist’, I thought I would give this particular brand of unreasoning a try.

1.      Truth about reality is knowable.
2.      The opposite of true is false.
3.      It is true that magic exists. This is evidenced by the:
a.       Beginning of the Universe (‘A Wizard Did It’ Argument)
b.      Design of the Universe (‘A Wizard Did That Too’ Argument)
c.       Design of Life (Bill O’Reilly’s Law of ‘You Can’t Explain That’)
d.      Moral Law (‘No Seriously Dude, Wizards’ Argument)
4.      If magic exists, then wizards are possible.
5.      Wizards can be used to confirm the existence of magic (ie. A wizard casting a kickass spell to demonstrate the existence of magic)
6.      I am totally a wizard. This is evidenced by:
a.       This old book I have here. It says I am totally a wizard. It’s all old and stuff; you can trust the book.
b.      Some guy who watched me do magic once. He wrote on this piece of paper saying how I really am a wizard. You cannot talk to him these days, though. He went on a quest to Atlantis (it’s real too).
c.       This guy is totally legit. Why would I make something like this up?
d.      Plenty of people have seen me do magic. It’s not like it’s possible I’d be out to deceive them, is it?
7.      All these reliable and totally infallible sources say I am a wizard.
8.      The fact that I am a wizard is further confirmed by:
a.       My life being the fulfilment of a bunch of prophecies made by Alaister Crowley back in the day. Crowley is a reliable source on these sort of things.
b.      My totally awesome and incredible magic spells. You have to believe in them first before I can show them to you, though.
c.       My magical powers of precognition and magical monster battling.
9.      Therefore, I am a wizard.
10.  Whatever I (a wizard) teach about magic is true.
11.  I teach that there is such a thing as magic, and that it is what created the Universe and stuff.
12.  Therefore it is true to say that magic is real, and that I am a wizard (and anyone who says otherwise is false).

See? Makes perfect sense.


  1. Wait...Atlantis is real!?!

    I agreed to read an apologetics book once with a theist friend who agreed to read a Dawkins book. After a couple chapters, we both failed.

  2. You have created a false analogy and made it with ridicule in mind, rather than reasoning why each point cannot be the case. Either each point can be the case and probably is, or it can be the case and probably is not, or it cannot be the case. But what your list has done does not address that from a logical standpoint, it merely ridicules (or presents an assumption of ridicule).

    Disappointing, especially after your reasoned view of babies as Atheists.

    1. I was going for satire, but ridicule is one way of looking at it I suppose.

      But then, this is a ridiculous argument to begin with. Filled with fallacy after fallacy, circular reasoning and piss-poor apologetics.

      I could have done a straight-up deconstruction of the argument presented, but I thought I'd try something a little different and decided to go for humour instead.